Natural Tools For When You’re “Strong” but Tired of Being Strong

If you’re a Defence spouse, chances are you’ve become “the strong one” by default.

You manage relocations, time apart, changing routines, and the emotional load that comes with Defence life. You adapt to new towns and new communities. You often place your partner’s career before your own. And somewhere along the way, your own needs and self-care quietly move to the back burner — not because they don’t matter, but because everything else feels more urgent.

People tell you how resilient you are. How well you handle things. How impressive it is that you keep going.

But sometimes being strong is exhausting. This kind of tired isn’t just physical.

It’s a full body blow that relentlessly “dominoes” across all systems within the body.  Over time, that constant pressure of always being “on”, always adjusting, and rarely having the chance to fully exhale, can leave you feeling flat, foggy or simply worn down.

The good news is that there are natural tools that can help support your body and mind when you’re running on empty — without needing a perfect routine, expensive products, or hours of spare time.

Giving Yourself a Moment to Pause

When your life is unpredictable, your body often lives in a constant state of alertness. Even when nothing dramatic is happening, your nervous system stays switched on, scanning for the next “enemy invader” masked as a form of change or challenge.

Over time, this can affect:

o   Mood and emotional regulation

o   Menstrual cycle regulation

o   Sleep quality

o   Digestion

o   Blood sugar and general energy levels

o   Brain fog and concentration

o   Confidence and motivation

One of the most important systems to support is your parasympathetic nervous system (PNS)— the part of your body accountable for keeping you cool, calm & collected. In more detail, your PNS is responsible for rest, digestion, repair and balance emotions.

When this system is supported, your body can shift out of sympathetic nervous system (SNS) dominance - the part that of your body that forces “fight, flight or freeze” and triggers inflammation - and into recovery mode. One of the simplest ways to activate it is through meditation.

Meditation (For People Who Think They’re Bad at Meditation)

It’s normal to feel uncomfortable when presented the idea of stillness, because it’s often the first time the mind has an opportunity to pause and disconnect from reality.

Meditation doesn’t have to mean sitting cross-legged in silence for 30 minutes while trying to empty your mind. In fact, I often recommend the ‘bite size’ pieces over the longer stints to manage expectations on what’s going to feel achievable and practical to avoid introducing more overwhelm. This is also where guided meditation can be helpful.

I often recommend to my clients the Insight Timer app, which is a free resource compatible with both iPhone and Android. The reason I like this app is because it is a simple and user-friendly that doesn’t compromise on versatility and offers a wide variety of options for mental health support, both short-term and ongoing. I also find it especially helpful for those who are time poor and constantly on the move which aligns seamlessly with Defence life.

My ‘Pro’s’ List for Insight Timer includes:

 o   Meditations as short as 1 minute, if that’s all you can commitment to in the moment

o   Breathing exercises

o   Sleep meditations

o   Music and soundscapes

By calming the nervous system, meditation helps your body move out of constant “fight or flight” and into a state where healing and clarity can happen. Modern research shows a significant improvement in areas such as improved mood, supporting healthy sleep patterns, reduced brain fog, healthy digestion and balanced energy levels.

It is not about fixing yourself — it is about teaching your body that it is safe to rest.

The Power of Sunlight: A Natural Mood and Energy Tool

Sunlight is one of the most underestimated tools for mental and physical health, especially for people who spend a lot of time indoors or feel constantly fatigued. While the available research on the connection between vitamin D and its role in adrenal gland function still needs further investigation, there are many health ailments that are quietly being driven by poor Vitamin D levels and reflect low energy levels. In fact, there is a common myth floating around that if you live in Australian, a naturally hotter climate, that you would presumably have more than sufficient levels to thrive from. Testing is the only reliable method to determine where your levels sit, which can be done by your GP or healthcare practitioner.

Sun exposure supports:

o   Vitamin D production

o   Mood and emotional regulation

o   Sleep-wake cycles

o   Immune function

o   Energy balance

Low vitamin D is common in people who:

o   Move frequently

o   Spend long hours inside

o   Experience low mood

o   Feel persistently tired

A useful tool is the iPhone app D Minder, which can:

o   Estimate vitamin D production from sun exposure

o   Track your levels over time

o   Advise on safer times of day based on UV levels

o   Encourage regular, short sun breaks

In Australia, UV exposure matters. The goal is not long sunbaking sessions but safe, smart exposure, such as:

o   Early morning or later afternoon

o   Short periods

o   Exposing arms or legs without burning

Sunlight isn’t just about vitamin D — it also sends signals to your brain that help regulate mood and sleep. It is one of the simplest ways to support energy and emotional resilience.

Stop Reaching for “Quick fixes”

Quick fixes are anything that promise fast relief or instant comfort — whether that’s reaching for a family-sized block of chocolate, pouring an extra glass of red wine, or making a choice that has you waking up the next day questioning your life decisions.

 We’ve all been there.

However, I would like to take this opportunity to highlight another key theme that isn’t talked about enough, which is the decision many of us make to reach for over-the-counter herbal products during times of stress or ill health.

Taylor Swift summed it up perfectly when she said, “Band-aids don’t fix bullet holes.” It’s very easy to grab something that promises quick relief when stress or exhaustion hits. While this can feel helpful in the moment, it may not always give your body what it truly needs for lasting support. Not all supplements are created the same, and many are designed to offer a more watered-down effect rather than meaningful, long-term results. Quality can vary widely — from the strength of the active ingredients to the types of fillers and preservatives used — and over time this can place extra strain on both your body and your budget – chances are you’ve likely heard the term “expensive urine” used in discussion at some point; this is a prime example of in-effective prescribing at it’s finest.

This is where working with a Naturopath can be especially helpful. Custom-made herbal tinctures are formulated with your individual needs in mind, allowing for more targeted and longer-lasting support, and they are often more cost-effective than continually trialling a cocktail variety of over-the-counter options.

Herbal tinctures also come with some very practical advantages. Ethanol-based extracts are absorbed more efficiently, which can be particularly useful when digestion isn’t at its best. They help preserve the natural active compounds of herbs and allow for flexible dosing as your needs change over time. This means formulas can be adjusted rather than staying locked into something that no longer suits you.

Many powerful Adaptogens (our top-notch stress category herbs that help the body to adapt to physical and emotional stress) are not commonly found in retail supplement ranges, yet they can play an important role in supporting the body during periods of intense stress and fatigue. By working with a qualified practitioner, you gain access to these options and a more personalised approach to care — helping you move away from short-term fixes and towards choices that support your health more gently and sustainably over time.

Sometimes self-care can feel like just another thing to tick off your never-ending to-do list. But it doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be as simple as stepping outside for a few minutes of sun, taking a few slow breaths before bed, saying no to one extra thing, giving yourself permission to rest, keeping dinner easy, recognising and solidifying personal boundaries; especially when it comes to asking for a little help when you need it. None of this is indulgent — it’s just taking care of yourself. Feeling tired doesn’t mean you’re weak; it just means you’ve been carrying a lot for a long time. And it’s okay to finally put yourself back on the priority list.